Colleges Require History Majors to Minor in "Outdoor Preparedness Skills"

Citing the growing national pressure from student debt relief movements, colleges nation-wide collaborated to address the crippling costs of attendance by unveiling a new program requiring all prospective history majors to take supplementary studies in the thriving field of Outdoor Preparedness Skills. According to the new curriculum, the program “aims to ensure the nation’s prospective historians will be able to survive a winter after defaulting on their loans, filing for bankruptcy, and having their house foreclosed on.” At Oberlin College, students could be seen forsaking their weekly Friday afternoon protests to learn the basics of “cardboard engineering”.

Also included in the initiative were all music, graphic design, and English majors.

President Barack Obama and wilderness survival expert Bear Grylls demonstrate to students how to catch and gut wild salmon amidst a poor job market.