How To: Ask For a College Recommendation

1. Wait until the last possible moment to ask because teachers work best under pressure. Ask no sooner than December 27th to ensure they spend their last moments of Christmas Break writing this letter for you.
2. Ask a teacher who has a trustworthy-sounding name, like Dr. Goldstein or Feldberg-Cohen. Doctors always write more trustworthy and legitimate letters of recommendation.
3. Make sure you ask a male teacher as women can’t be trusted.
4. Ask someone who doesn’t know you very well – the shorter they’ve known you, the less they can say about your poor work ethic and regular tardiness to class.
5. If you can, ask a close family member for a recommendation.
6. Let your teachers know that you are considering asking other teachers instead of them, and ask them whom they think would write you the best recommendation.
7. Stop completing the homework that teacher assigns so they have less work to grade and more time to spend on writing your letter of recommendation.
8. While you’re waiting for the teacher to finish your recommendation, send them hourly encouragement texts so they don’t forget that whether or not you are admitted to college entirely rides upon their one letter of recommendation.
9. Practice that teacher’s personal signature so that when you can open the sealed envelope to read the recommendation, you can close, re-seal, and sign the envelope again without arousing suspicion.
10. Take a Teacher Certification Test and write your own recommendation.

Wouldn’t you write her a recommendation too?