How To Spend Your Senior Skip Day

By Yang Money, and Dawg-E

The official food of Senior Skip Day and one dumb fucking joke. The official food of Senior Skip Day and one dumb fucking joke.

It’s Senior Skip Day! Haven’t got anything planned? No problem. Here at the Muskeeto, we do the thinking, so you don’t have to:

  1. Become an investment banker – With an entry salary of up to $150,000 annually (after bonuses), there’s no excuse for not becoming a highly paid Wall Street investment banker on your one day off.
  2. Steal Matt Damon’s identity – You’ve always wanted to star in “The Martian” and “Bourne Identity”. And hey, it’s Senior Skip Day, there are no rules; become the Emmy-nominated Matt Damon and take your rightful place on the throne.
  3. Administer the serum.
  4. Befriend a snake – You like dogs, and what is a snake but a long, scaly dog? Take time off this Monday and find yourself a legless, reptilian friend.
  5. Grow out a manbun. – Senior Skip Day is the perfect time for you to get this fashionable and highly desirable hairstyle.
  6. Pretend not to sneeze. – You can feel one coming on, but now’s really not the time to be sneezing.
  7. Go to school. – Lexington is the pinnacle of the K-12 public education system, with one of the strongest performing programs in the state and the country. Making use of your extra time on Senior Skip Day to attend high school would be a great way to take advantage of our town’s high ranking academics.
  8. Celebrate your bat mitzvah.