Freshman Accidently Walks Through Senior Corner, Gets Sent Through Dante's Nine Circles of Hell

LHS Quad –- A harrowing scene unfolded in the quad early Tuesday morning as freshman James Hunt unwittingly paraded through the senior corner on his way to english. Unfortunately for James, two demons disguised as lacrosse brothers were waiting for him as he made the mistake that cost him his morning.

Circle 1: Limbo James spent the first part of his “field trip” amongst the pagans in this inferior form of heaven, after being punished for eternity, he left his new friends behind. As he was swept away by the blistering breath of Satan, he glanced nervously over his shoulder. He realized he had forgotten to fill in the Physician phone number box on his field trip permission slip.

Circle 2: Lust Greeted by the strong winds punishing those who succumbed to lust, James found himself wondering how he would make up the summer reading quiz that he was missing while on his impromptu journey.

Circle 3: Gluttony Cerberus the worm monster was thoroughly unimpressed with James’ lack of gluttony and immediately sent him on his way.

Circle 4: Greed All the members of this circle were too focused on their own tasks to notice James. Despite many attempts, he failed to get their attention, so he opted to continue further into the depths.

Circle 5: Anger James couldn’t help but feel angry himself as his shoes became soaked by the river Styx. He reluctantly continued on, hoping his Mom could wash all the mud out of his shoes.

Circle 6: Heresy While dodging a multitude of flaming tombs of the heretics, James recalled the library pass in his pocket that he forgot to turn in to his dean secretary. He spent the entire way to the seventh circle coming up with excuses to get himself out of a detention.

Circle 7: Violence James knew if he wanted to make it back in time for Earth Science he would have to traverse each of the three rings of this circle. First the river of boiling blood and fire, next the trees and bushes fed on by harpies, and finally the desert of burning sand and burning rain.

Circle 8: Fraud After reaching the eighth circle on the back of a Geryon, James rushed through the ten Bolgias and past all the fraudulent people occupying them.

Circle 9: Treachery James had one last challenge ahead of him before he could return to the familiar halls of school. He began to cross the frozen lake, Cocytus, its dark depths holding the worst of the sinners in an icy tomb. Waist deep in the ice sat Satan, each of his three faces mocking James for his oversized backpack as he made a run for the center of Hell, his only way back home.

The Muskeeto Staff attempted to talk to James on his way into the science building but thinking we were seniors coming to confront him about walking through the senior corner, he ducked his head and walked away before we could get a comment.