You Can, in Fact, Borrow Books from The Library!

Young patrons feel the joy of literacy for the first time

Lexington High School Library – Readers may know that the Muskeeto’s investigative journalism department has been at the forefront of many shocking discoveries at LHS in the past — the fact that the gymnasium is NOT air conditioned, for example, or that baby carrots are just adult carrots cut into baby sizes. Continuing their streak, the brightest minds of LHS’ foremost news source made their biggest discovery to date just yesterday:

You can, in fact, borrow books from the library!

Our journalists were first alerted to this possibility by an LHS senior, who wishes to be referred to as ZYDECO for confidentiality, actually having a conversation with a librarian. Scrambling to finish an AP Psychology assignment, ZYDECO inquired librarian Mrs. Kriskonski if the summer reading book was among the collection of textbooks behind the library desk.

What happened next was difficult to discern from a clearly shaken ZYDECO, but it appears that a “glimmer” lept into Kriskonski’s eyes, who energetically beckoned ZYDECO to follow her to a bookshelf in the back corner of the room, informing our correspondent that “It’s not in our textbook collection, but we have a copy here,” adding, “Do you have your Student ID with you to check it out at the front desk?” It was at this moment that ZYDECO fainted, only to wake up in the nurse’s office hours later.

Tantalized by the lead, but terrified of its monumental implications, the Muskeeto team hired a professional motivational speaker to coach them through the process. Upon repeated assurances that “diamonds are made under pressure,” encouragements to “follow your inner Columbus, or Leif Eriksson I guess because you guys are all SO smart”, and, eventually, exasperated sputtering and gesticulating towards the ominous double doors of the school library, our intrepid squad of investigators resolved to uncover the place’s mystery once and for all.

Huddled together for warmth and safety, our journalists edged closer to a predetermined bookshelf, chosen for its bright lighting and varied escape paths. Their eyes settled on a small volume, a history of pre-industrial quilt-making techniques of southern Delaware. Following a quick pep talk and a 15-second meditation, the squadron stealthily made their way back to the front desk, except Lil’ Billy, who tripped over some dweeb’s laptop charger but assured his squadmates — “You go on without me. I’ll be alright.”

Despite some quizzical looks from the librarians, a quivering hand emerged from the bunch, placing the all-deciding book, and a student ID, on the desk. The librarian took out her scanner, reminded our heroes of the book’s due date, and went back to doing whatever it is a librarian does. And just like that, it was over — like ripping off a Band-Aid, our investigative unit uncovered a secret lost to the pixelated sands of time.

The long-term implications of this discovery remain unclear, as eyewitness reports testify that library visitors still prefer looking at pictures of smiling “doggos” and “happy floofs” on Facebook to learning about Delawarean quilt-making.