SectionsLHS Cafeteria Sushi: Yes It Exists, And The Reviews Are In
It’s sushi, but it’s from the cafeteria
Lexington, MA- Well folks, the tastemakers at the Muskeeto have gone into the field once again and extracted the latest rumblings. This is what your classmates had to say about the sushi at the indomitable Frait Express:
“The LHS cafeteria what?”
Josh Soope • Amateur Sick Beat Producer
“I’ve been eating the Caesar wraps to get ahead in Latin. I wonder if these will help for my math tests?”
Greg Sammich • Intelligent Jock
“Heads up up y’all, breakfast burritos are back in the Grab n’ Go, this time with ordinary white tortillas. #esketit”
Sarah Salt • Committed Class Sleeper
“I think if you can get behind the school’s mozzarella sticks, then you can get behind anything. Even school sushi...”
Justin LaBeefe • Cafeteria Connoisseur
“The texture of the rice is simply unctuous, giving it poor mouthfeel, and I have really high standards for lunch. That’s why I prefer to wait in line for the first half hour of lunch every single day to order the exact same grilled sandwich that I have to eat as quick as possible without tasting or enjoying it.”
Emma Beane • Serial Sandwich Eater
“Sounds nasty.”
Shaquille O'Neal • Ultimate Frisbee Player
Because the Muskeeto is a top notch news source, we will remain impartial, refraining from coming to a conclusion based solely upon the whims of the masses. That being said, we’d like to thank all of these real people (not actors) who took the time to write a review. We’d also encourage all of our readers to grab a snorkel and dive into the depths of the Frait Express to uncover some buried sushi to try for themselves.